DEAR SINGLE WOMAN

IT HAS BEEN SUCH A LONG TIME... I GET INTO THESE SPELLS OF DOING SOMETHING THAT INTERESTS ME AND THEN I GET SIDE TRACKED AND STOP THE WORK... BUT I REFUSE TO DO THAT WITH THIS BLOGGING. SO HERE IS A NEW TOPIC AND A NEW BLOG. I PRAY THAT YOU ENJOY! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THIS IS MERELY MY PLACE TO SHARE TIDBITS THAT HAVE WORKED FOR ME, THEY MAY NOT WORK OR APPLY TO YOU. NONETHELESS I FELT COMPELLED TO SHARE. SN: I have yet to figure out how to set a space between my paragraphs... hmph bare with me i will get it one day! Dear Single woman. You are beautiful and intelligent and funny and cute and virtuous and loving and hardworking and generous and a nurturer yet.. your alone!?! You hold all the qualities that you know a man desires and needs and, your ready to cater.. yet your alone!! Tired of waiting and wanting and watching other women be happy and have what you deserve.. hmph especially her you look 10 times better than her, but she got a good man!! wth????? you may even have someone who you are claiming as your own yet you know in your heart your just there side piece, or someone to talk to everyday or even worse when the one they want isn't available you are their bed warmer or that late night phone call to pass their time until the one they want becomes available again. You feel used and mistreated but it is better than just being alone! right? have you second guessed your self? I know exactly where you are coming from. this girl above... was me. Every girl has the dream of high school love, or marrying there high school love, or college love whatever the case maybe but when it doesn't go the way you planned... you begin to question.. am I too fat? is my skin not clear enough is my booty not big enough am I too tall too short? am I just unwanted? was I born just to be "the friend?" I had doubted my self soo bad at one point I began to tell my self I would never have kids or the husband I wanted ever since I was a little girl. I dreamed of happiness but was I happy? I started to consume my everyday life with the wanting to be wanted.. started wearing low cut tops high cut skirts and tight clothes to appeal to someone. and I did but it wasn't the wanting I wanted. Went to clubs pretended to be a drinker when I could not stand the taste of alcohol nor the closed cramped smelly atmosphere of the club, yet I was searching for someone to notice me!I just wanted to be someones, someone! I thought one day that I had found my peace in a relationship but from my previous posts we know that that was a one sided situation I was in a relationship... with my self! lol. Then it goes back to that God I am praying, I have been praying and I am waiting.. where is my man at God! I'm doing my part your not doing your part.. Come on God.... God ... Hello a year has gone bye and I'm still not happy I'm still alone I am ready, I said I am ready God I am ready!!!!! After all of this I stopped one day and was like Erica, are you really ready? is your heart really ready to receive are you stable enough in your self that you can take on the care of someone else? have you really been praying? like really praying? Your soo focused on being with someone but can you stand yourself right now? You literally have to re evaluate yourself and place your time and thoughts and care on to something else. You cannot dream up a man and expect for it to be roses and happy ever afters.. A relationship needs building and patience, Just cause you want something, it doesn't always mean you will get it. Especially right then and there! I made a promise to myself that I would not settle for less I put it in my head I have waited this long for a man to and love I might as well prep myself to be prepared for it whenever it comes.. so I placed my focus elsewhere and I stopped focusing on wanting I began a relationship with Erica.. I took care of me. I still prayed, but it wasn't a prayer of God I need this I am ready it was a prayer of God, I thank you for me, and for the love you have given to me! I stopped putting the blame on myself for why I was "alone". While really I never was alone, He comforted me in those times of it just being me. Then the realization set in that not every man that approaches you is worth your time or effort.. I stopped letting guys sweet talk me. I promised myself that I would not settle for just anyone. I put it in my mind that I am a Queen and I should be treated as such, so no ordinary man would do. My Husband thinks that I made him wait a year but in actuality I was making sure I was ready for this new wanting.. and when I was ready we explored the relationship FIRST AS FRIENDS! We did not jump right into a relationship.. We took our time and when the timing was right. We committed. I knew that he was the one because the first night we spent together I laid under the cover and he laid on top of the cover both of us fully clothed. That night I felt wanted! the wanting I had longed for! See ladies the way you portray your wanting is the way you get it. If your flirting and being suggestive 9 of 10 your gonna end up doing things you regret. If you set your standard to being wanted from the heart... you will get what I got LOVE!!! God gave me a RARE gem, i know deep down in my heart that no matter my size, no matter my problems, no matter my flaws that man loves me so unconditionally! Stop seeking love for momentary happiness, love you first and stop waiting for a man to love you!!! Do you love you? take time out for you, so that when that love comes and it will come you are ready to be treated like a Queen!